JVOL. XXXII. || f H' f) INDIANAPOLIS. IND.. JAN. 16. 1897.
NO. 3
EXPERIENCE DEPARTMENT
Educating a Husband.
j 1st Premium—I have often thought lt
j would bo impossible to educate a husband.
;Some one has said, "Girls never marry a
iman expecting to change him," and it
'seems to me that some of us need changing a great deal.
One of the most frequent habits I ever
met 'with is that of loafing at towns. The
farmer who pays for his farm and who
says farming is a success is never seen
wasting his time at town. The picture
of the farm, when the husband is loafing
continually, is too familiar to need comment here. His wife says marriage is a
failure;
I Now, is the wife" to blame for this condition of affairs? She may be, to some
'extent. If while her husband is at town
she is overseeing the farm and doing
"evening chores, so the husband will not
have them to do on his return, then she
is encouraging him in his meanness.
The remedy for this disease is: The wife
must go to town with him as often as
possible. Get him to notice successful
farmers along the route and how they
gain success.   If she must stay at home
iet her do her own work and leave his till
ie returns.
If she goes ahead and does his work he
ay forget he has any need of getting
ome.
To illustrater -I-once knew a man who
was forgetful. He would often go to
town on business and forget to return till
hunger impelled him homeward. He,
also, would often forget to get wood before leaving. Then his wife would be
compelled to get wood and dinner both.
She remonstrated frequently, but in
Tain. One day he returned from town
at 2 o'clock very hungry. On entering
the kitchen, dinner was not ready. He
at once flew into a passion, but on looking at the stove he was surprised to see
everything on the stove ready to cook for
dinner, but no tire. He saw who was to
blame and his passion flew to the woodpile. He soon had some wood and his
wife soon had dinner. That was the last
time he ever forgot wood.
; Again, the husband may form the
habit of leaving everything lie Just
where he used it.
- i If he uses the hatchet in the house it
is left there. If he pulls his coat off it is
dropped in ihe middle of the floor, or
'Wherever he is standing.
jThis habit is often caused by the will'
ingness of the wife to follow and pick
everything up.
{Let her leave things where he does and
thus cause him to see to himself.
iThen let us all be careful and watch
ourselves and thus make as much improvement as possible this year.
illoward Co. Fred Hiatt.
^2d Premium.
I know not, I care not, if gnilt be in thy heart,
J bnt know that I love thee whatever thou art.
-*Jt has been truly said that "love hides
aVnultitude of sins." The wise woman
will be slow to entrust her keeping to one
Whose sins she cannot and should not
tolerate. According to the poet, "We
fijfst pity, next endure and then embrace." The process of education is much
simplified whilst woman has her freedom. There is a time in some man's life
life when her franchise counts for more
than any other factor she may possess.
I.began this education quite young when
. accompanying my future husband to lectures on "woman's rights," and "the evils
ofyintemperance and tobacco," where he
shared the honors of the evening with
others equally learned and gifted. Being
aji apt and willing pupil I became an
earnest and aggressive follower and
When In later years he gradually fostered
the tobacco habit, notwithstanding my
tamest entreaties in  season  and out of
season, leaving no stone unturned to arrest his progress (it takes two to quarrel,
hence we never quarrelled) he neither
remonstrated, complained nor Justified
his course, but continued steadily and
calmly to ohew. I saw my mistake. It
was too good a thing to be abandoned or
monopolized and those much abused
little cigarettes made it possible for me to
smoke, while he could chew, and thus the
dove of peace settled down once more
upon us. After a few months of mutual
bliss [?] he discontinued its use without
apology and without notice, and if any
word of mine precipitated the event I
have yet to learn it. This only remaining fault (and ye editor need not have restricted us) is in being far too generous
in gratifying my every wish, either expressed or implied. "It is a good child
that cannot be spoiled." My constant
care is now to educate him to meet all
my wants without bankrupting the firm.
Ohio Co. Mrs June Berry.
3d Premium.—If a maiden has her
ideal, i. e., what a husband should be,
does not marry until she finds
that ideal, she will not have to educate
her husband. The prize she secures will
meet all her requirements.
We recently visited an old friend whose
wife I had never met. I was more than
astonished to hear her tell him to do this
thus and so about the meals, the housework, the baby, etc. She explained to
me that Sam did not do so and so quite
as wellas Mrs. C's husband,~but thatslie
thought he would after awhile. I suppose she was educating a husband. This
man was intelligent, well educated and a
first class farmer, and he had waited unt'l
almost 40 years old to secure a wife who
could do'her part; but he did not know
enough to fix things convenient about
the house for her and thus help her do
her own part of the work.
For my own part I cannot separate the
education of the husband from the
education of the wife, for if she does her
part the bread winner will always lend
a helping hand when  occasion requires.
Glancing over the topics, No. 45 seemed
only mirth provoking, but really this is
a very serious subject. I should like to
have brother farmers tell about "educat
ing a wife." Mrs. William.
Richmond.
I
As to the education of a husband, I believe it is begun long bstore he is aware
that he is to be a husband and to have a
home of his own. What he hears and
sees every day at home surely is a part of
his education. In some cases I believe
the wife makes the husband loathsome
by her words and ways. The two faults
which I will name are first, and worst of
all, the liquor habit, which has ruined so
many homes. I believe some will heed
the words of the wife, who will plead for
the home to be kept as it should, the
placa of all places for herself and her
family. And he, if he be a true man, will
consider for her sake. And the man that
is most of the time out of humor (of
course we all get out of humor sometimes, it is our nature to do so, but I think
some men cultivate the habit;) if the wife
baa true one, I believe she could a3k him
sometime when he Is not angry, to try
and not do so, and then she should show
by her actions, as far as she can, that she
appreciates any change. Some wives are
careless about the home, and don't try to
make it attractive. They don't try to entertain the husband, so he soon finds
somewhere else to spend his evenings.
What is nicer than a family enjojing a
pleasant evening around the home fireside. And what sooner destroys its pleasures than the absence of the husband. So
wives try to make the home a happy and
attractive one. L- L-
Harrison Co.
While it may be the wife's fault that
the husband is careless in some oases, it
certainly is not true in all cases. The use
of tobacco and whiskey are two of the
worst faults as I think that husbands are
addicted to. As to teaching them to reform, I would advise unmarried girls to
have their husbands reform before they
get them, they should bear in mind that
a promise of reform after marriage is sure
to be broken. One Sunday last April a
friend asked me to go with him to his
sister's who had only been married a few
months. We got there before dinner, and
found another sister of his there, who was
also lately married. My friend, the two
husbands and myself sat in the dining-
room, while the sisters were getting dinner. Before the meal was ready I saw
the wife come to the door with a gentle
nod and a beautiful smile upon her face.
The young husband arose and went, and
in a minute I saw him returning from the
spring with a bucket of water, and a
nicely moulded pound of butter upon a
beautiful glass disb. I do not think this
was Just for the occasion, but I think
they had practiced kindness until it become a second nature. On the other hand
I once called at a house and found the
good wife splitting wood to cook the noon
meal, and I found the husband and some
of his friends in the house around the
table playing cards and gambling and
they were almost to drunk to set up. I
looked around me and I saw the ambler
was about a half inch deep on the zinc
under the stove, and the carpet was not
muoh better off. Now let our young husbands follow the example of the first
named couple, and I believe they will llvo
a happy and cheerful life. B. W.
vide suitable kitchen wood by taking the
good straight rails off the nearest fence
and using them, cutting them into suitable lengths herself. Another prepared
the food all for cooking and set it on the
table uncooked. He may be taught to
put away the things he uses about the
house, or at least be helpful by being reminded only, at least to not leave all the
odds and ends to be looked after by the
wife. A husband should not bs careless
and thoughtless, any more than a wife
should be careless and exacting. C.
Husbands should not meddle with their
wives' affairs in and around the house.
The way to get them to improve is for
the wife to kindly but firmly to educate
him along this line.
The husband should not try to deceive
his wife in any way, for she is sure to
find it out; but if she did not, he should
have the manhood that would cause
him to love and respect his wife so much
that he would not do such a thing.
Incog.
I don't think that it is altogether the
wife's fault that husband's are careless
and burdensome, for I think that they
must have some of the faults they possess before they become husbands, and
I think the majority of the faults that
people have are due to the parents for
their neglect iu not doing their part in
raising their children. I think if the
child is raised and educated in the right
way there is not much danger but that he
will grow into a useful man, and be already a useful and educated husband. I
think you ought to allow three habits in
which they may improve, for if a fellow
is a drunkard he is almost sure to be a tobacco chewer and also quarrelsome. But
I do think that a wife's loving, sweet
voice ought to do more towards reform:
ing the husband that needs reform than
anything else that could be done.
Cory don. David.
Get the husband interested in your
work. Make him acquainted by having
him help you wash, cook, do the dishes
and keep the baby, while you go shopping
and bicycling. I don't say make a business of doing this, but often enough so
that he may take a hint of some of the
corners his wife is doirjg for the firm. By
all means don't over indulge him in his
whims. You will find that they are only
babies grown big. Love and appreciate all
courtesies without stint.
A Wife of Fifteen Summers,
Each evening, after the husband has
finished his day's labor in the fields,
and is more or less filthy from dust and
presplration, the wife should provide
for him some warm water, a cake of soap,
a couple of bathing towels, and a clean
white night shirt, and say Bob take a bath.
Each Sunday morning after the chores
are done, the wife should say Jo, here are
yonr shaving tools; your white shirt and
best clothes are on the bed. L9tus commemorate and keep sacred, the happy
days of the past. Wm. R. Davis.
Marshall Co.
A wife may quite reform a husband,
but she'd better see that he has been
properly "educated" before she begins.
One I know taught her husband to pro-
REVIEW.
Mr. Beck points out "indiftarence"
as a common fault of husbands both
at home and in public life. He says
"that the husband's education ip, for the
most part, but not entirely, with himself.
Better perhaps say it is a reciprocal affair." "Good home influence is far-reaching in its effect, and should harmonize
truth, beauty and goodness, and vile
habits should perish for the want Of
wicked influences which give rise to and
foster them."
Fred Hiatt says some of us need changing a great deal. Suppose we change
Fred's expression to say that all husbands have their limitations, their faults.
The purpose of this week's discussion is
not to blame husbands but to give helpful criticism. Let us censure people lesp,
since none of us dare cast the first stone,
and counsel with them more. I wouldn'
give a cent for a man that has no individuality. Let us kindly and gradually remove the rough points of character that
hurt.
Our correspondents show two ways by
which husbands are spoiled: 1st Too
much self-sacrifice of the wife,and2ndToo
little willingness on her part to be helpful and kind. As a writer once said we
should be "mejum-like." Not make one's
self a "slave," and yet be quick to carry
on part of life's great blunders.
I presume B. W. didn't mean Just what
he said in advising girls to marry only ret
formed husbands. Wo all need reforming, and don't have time in one's life to
complete the job. Girls must not wait
for angels, like the daughters of men who
married the sons of God, in an early day.
The world went all bad right away, and
Heaven was so disgusted that he washed
away every trace of them and their"doings. They were uncongenial. It has in
theory been tried often since the flood.
But our salvation has been that "hot" of
us proved to be human Still Mr. B. W.
was right in what he meant to say. If
you would all read a book I recently
bought on Heredity, by Bradford, (price
$1.:J0), you would say that it is perilous
to marry a man or woman with lots of
bad blood, no odds what his present history is.
Isn't Mrs. William in error in saying
that "if the wife does her part the bread
winner will always do his?" It only
makes lt possible and gives him who is
willing some heart to help. But Ihe
shirk, what will you do with him? Echo!
what?
The wife of fifteen years does well
to say "get the husband interested in
your work and life." Let • him feel the
arduousness of it occasionally. But our
sister is too severe on us fellows when
she says we are only babies grown big—
not so, sister; we are "heap lots big, stout
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