HE-167
Helping Children Cope With Stress
by Joanne Samarzija, M.S., Child Development and Family Studies
and Judith A. Myers-Walls, Ph.D., Extension Specialist, Human Development
Introduction
Stress is a response to change or conflict. It is usually considered to be negative and damaging. However, not all forms or levels of stress are bad. Competing in sports and achieving in school or at work are examples of positive stressors. Stress becomes negative when the pressures surrounding these and other situations become too great or when several small stressors occur at once, and one can no longer adjust. It is becoming evident that this type of stress overload is taking its toll on children as well as adults.
This publication explains how stress exists in your child’s world from infancy through the teen years. You will learn how to recognize signs of stress and help your child express, understand, and manage pressure. Suggestions on preventing excessive stress for your child also are provided.
Children and Stress
How your child reacts to stress depends upon both your child and the source of stress. Many children have survived catastrophes without permanent emotional or psychological damage, while other children cannot easily adjust to less traumatic experiences. The personality of the child, as well as available support from family members, plays a major role in the child’s ability to handle stressful situations.

Developmental or Normative Stress
Another important factor influencing your child’s reaction to stress is the actual nature of the stressor —the situation or event that causes the stress. One category of stressors is called developmental or normative stress. Developmental stress accompanies the normal growing experiences of childhood. Some examples of this type of stressor are: dealing with strangers as an infant, being separated from parents, starting or changing schools, and adjusting to puberty. Most children deal with this form of stress quite successfully and become able to adapt to the changes that cause it by learning from the changes. 

Basic stress
management methods that will be used throughout your child’s life are developed during this growth process. Normative stress carries with it a low level of risk for your child’s overall development.

Critical Stress
Other family and personal pressures can be more intense and critical to your child’s well-being than normative stressors. This type is called critical stress. These stressors are events that do not occur in every child’s life, but are common. Some examples include unusually high or low levels of stimulation, moving to a new home, or the child being hospitalized. These events create medium levels of risk to your child’s development. Changes in your child’s usual behavior and personality might be seen in response to critical stress. Although more serious and threatening than developmental stress, most children manage to overcome these critical pressures if family members and friends are sensitive and supportive.

Catastrophic Stress
Serious unexpected events often produce the most severe and catastrophic stress
Cooperative Extension Service • Purdue University • West Lafayette, Indiana