Purdue University Agricultural Extension Service
Mimeo HE-155 April 1953
LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FORTIES AND FIFTIES
by Dorothy V. Mummery
Family Life Specialist
Lesson I: Mental and Physical Health in the Middle Years

You Don't Want To Be Middle-Aged?
So you will soon be "middle-aged"! And you don’t like it - or do you?
If you haven’t already found that first gray hair, chances are you soon will.
How do you feel about it? Do you dread the approach of the forties and fifties? If so, why?
Let's stop a minute and consider. You began aging the moment you were conceived. When your first tooth came up through your gums everyone was delighted. When you took your first step alone you were delighted too, and laughed right out loud, perhaps with joy in your new accomplishment. When you were ten you beamed with pride at that mark on the wall which indicated that you had grown half an inch since the last time Mother and Dad measured you. But when you are forty, and that first gray hair (or that first wrinkle) appears, you pull it out or in some way conceal it. You have been growing, maturing, changing, ever since birth.
But somewhere along the line your attitude toward changing and maturing changes. You are extremely proud when you have a baby. But you weep when you go to her wedding.
Why is it that our attitudes and feelings change about those birthdays rolling up? Why do we hear women in their late thirties say "I just hate the thought that soon I will be forty." What are some of the feelings these women have which make them so unhappy? Here are some:
"A gray hair! Well, I suppose that means I will soon lose what good looks
I have!"
"Well, my youngest child starts to high school in the fall. It won’t be long before I won’t be needed any more."
"Both children are away at college. I hardly know what to do with my time any more. Sometimes I am actually bored."
"I had my fortieth birthday last summer. And I keep thinking of the aunt that lived with us when I was growing up. I used to hear my mother say to her friends: ’Don’t you know what is wrong with John’s sister? Why she is so nervous and irritable? Why she complains about her health all the time? Why, she is going through the change. It is just one of those things we will have to live with for a while.’ I dread thinking that soon I will be in her shoes."
"You know Mrs. R. has been almost an invalid for the last year. She has dropped out of everything. Says she just can’t take any responsibility - ’It is just what has to be expected at my age.”’
"I have lost a daughter since I saw you last. She was married in June, you know."
"Cooking for just John and me is surely not going to be any pleasure. My neighbor says a loaf of bread always goes stale on her, and she has practically given up baking pies and cakes."
"Bill’s mother is coming to live with us in the fall. It will surely make a big change in our lives."
"Soon John and I will be in a situation similar to my sister Mary and her husband. Three children in college. They are having a terrific time keeping expenses down and saving for their old age."