Mimeo HE-233
April 1954 (1M)
Purdue University
Agricultural Extension Service
SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT OF PRESCHOOL CHILDREN
Learning to Differentiate People From Things
by
Dorothy V. Mummery
Family Life Specialist
As a little child is going through the first stages of solitary and parallel play, other difficulties than those due to using and sharing materials arise. Some are due to his lack of differentiation between things and people, and his faulty realization that other people have wants, feelings and desires like his own.
During the stage of solitary, non-social play, a little child is not concerned with other children to any extent except as they interfere with his activity. (Although apparently oblivious to others, he may notice when the other child leaves and say "Where’s Bobby?") When they do interfere, he is likely to brush them off or push them out of the way as if they were an object. The child may treat people like things or things like people. He does not distinguish between the two, and understand that people have feelings and can be hurt as he can. Not understanding that other children have wants and desires like his own, he may lift or pull a toy out of a child’s hand just as he would take it from a shelf. He saw it and wanted it, so he took it. This faulty discrimination accounts for some of the rough treatment children receive at the hands of others, such as being bumped into with a tricycle. To scold children for this immaturity of understanding is only confusing to them and anything but helpful. Adults can help these little children to a better understanding of what people are like by explaining and guiding in some such way as this: "That hurts Johnny. Tell Johnny "Please move". If the child bumps into Johnny with the tricycle we could say: "Go around Johnny, like this," and guide his tricycle around. Being hit or knocked out of the way by other children will help him learn how it feels. However, at these very young ages, children need some protection from each other. Too painful experiences of being knocked over may cause a very young	child to be afraid of or dislike others. If he treats others like things, then	 they may	dislike and run away from him.
Some "cruelty" to	animals is due to the fact that he has not learned to distinguish living from non-living things. He is curious about them like any object, and so ’’man-handles" the cat or pulls the wings off a bug. He is merely experimenting to find out what he can do with things. But he needs 	to learn that bugs are not peg boards to be pulled apart. So teach him to "touch gently" worms, caterpillars, etc. When	he starts to take a toy from
the hand of another, we explain "Johnny wants it," to help him understand Johnny as a person with desires like his own.

When the child develops to the stage of parallel play, he begins to show more interest in children and shows it by watching, imitating and positive attempts to make some contact with them. He goes right up to them, and touches, pokes, shoves, etc. Some of these contacts are purely experimental, like the little boy who poked His finger in the baby to see "what kind of noise it makes". Some are definitely friendly, but because he is inexperienced, his early attempts to show friendliness may be awkward and even disastrous. Two-year-old Raymond, arriving at nursery school from home one morning, walked up to a little boy and kicked him. A visitor said, "Why, what a naughty little boy that is!” But the teacher realized that Raymond really wanted to be friendly, but didn’t know just how. He was still inexpert at social greetings. The kick was just his way of saying ’’Hello". So the teacher taught him a more acceptable greeting. She said, ’’Raymond, Say ’Hello’ to David." Raymond, did so. Two children, both under two years, noticed each other on a train. The older ran toward the other, hands out, and gave just a simple little push which